Passionate, Driven, and Unemployed.

After five long, arduous years at UC Berkeley, your girl finally graduated this past spring with a B.A. in Comparative Literature. Comparative Literature is the study of literature and cultural expression across linguistic, national, and disciplinary boundaries. Usually after this spiel, one typically asks, “Oh, so you’re going to be a teacher or a professor?” Of which I respond time and time again… “No, No, NO!” I have never been called to and never will be called to teaching as a career. The reason I say this confidently is because I’ve been through hell and back in the classroom setting, from kindergarten through college. From horrible teasing to the stress of a college thesis, I’ve collected so many unfortunate memories that I intend to never commit to that profession.

So then, if I’m not interested in becoming a teacher, then what exactly is it that I want to do? I don’t really have a particular career that I can pinpoint and say that that is what I want to be at the end of the day. I believe maybe after graduate school and the alteration of current job positions, then will I be able to see clearly the career position that I’d like to commit the rest of my life to.

What am I passionate about? Well, so far I know that I am very dedicated to the African Diaspora and its fluidity within individuals based on geography. I’m interested in how black people see, understand, and establish themselves in homogenous white societies. I know that these self discoveries vary based on the various cultural backgrounds within the larger black community. I want to help people develop language and understanding of themselves. I’ve decided that I specifically want to help youths within the African Diaspora. I’m not sure if this is because of the difficulties experienced within my own childhood, but I know that I strongly connect with youth and want to follow that part of who I am. Because I’m fluent in French and Italian, and was guided towards my hopeful future due to my experiences in Italy and France (of which I’ll write a separate post later), I plan to work internationally for the most part.

So what am I doing currently? Absolutely nothing. After deciding to take a break from academia, I thought I’d return to Mississippi for the fall, make up for lost time with family, and find an easy job such as a barista, teaching assistant, tutor, or something to save up enough money before I move and apply to full time positions in the career field that I’m interested in.

What actually happened? I came home to find out that the job market is crusty here and that there’s nothing really to do in one’s spare time. It’s frustrating and I know that I’ve lapsed into post-graduate depression and I’m trying really hard not to give in to it completely. But it’s hard. I’m just hoping that someone hires me soon here so that I can begin to save enough money to start planning my escape and jumpstart my life again. Because whatever this is I’m doing, it doesn’t feel like living. I’m hoping that I can maintain my passions, my drive, and my goals throughout the stages of this gloom..because if I can’t, I might just get stuck.

xoxo – C

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